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HOW TO GET YOUR CHILD TO SLEEP IN THEIR OWN BED, AND OUT OF YOURS!

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Hi and thanks for visiting my site. Here we will discuss the issue of your baby or toddler sleeping in mum and dads bed, and not willing to go to theirs. Or it could be that your little one will sleep in their own room, but only if someone is sleeping next to them. Sound familiar? Well if so then read on.

We will look at some methods for how to get your child to sleep in their own bed, and out of yours. Don’t despair, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Patience and consistency will be so important, but it absolutely can be done.

Baby sleeping with parents

So how did you get in this predicament? Why your toddler little one wants to be close to you.

So how did you end up with your baby or toddler in your bed in the first place? After all your baby was sleeping in his or her cot bed before right? So what happened? Well the chances are something broke the routine they were in. I know from experience with my own son, when he travelled with us on holiday to Thailand to visit my in laws, he was at the time used to sleeping in his nice soft cot bed.

But even though bought him a travel cot, and tried making him up his own bed in the same room as my wife and I, he was having none of it. He was a little over 2 years old at the time. And after the long flight and his incessant crying from being in a strange environment, my wife and I relented. In our bed he came. And apart from the odd night here or there when he slept in my mother in laws room with her, he would sleep in our bed each nigh.

As you can imagine, a month of a new routine got imprinted upon him. So when we got home he still wanted to be in our bed with mum and dad, and refused to sleep in his own bed. Don’t get me wrong, day time naps was a different story and when we put him down during the day, he would have a bit of a cry and doze off. But when it came to nighttime, he was having none of it.

Why you really should deal with this issue sooner rather than later.

Now we really should have dealt with this issue promptly. But you know it’s nice to be close to your child too. You tell yourself you will get him to sleep in his own bed tomorrow night. And the same goes for your little one. As they get older and advance to toddlers, they become in some ways more independent.

Baby sleeping in your bed is not good for your relationship

But they also become more strong willed, and if they want to be extra clingy to mum and dad, then you have problems the longer you let them have their own way. It’s also not good for any relationship for your child to be in with you, after all you need your own space and privacy too right? It’s in everyone’s best interest to get your child sleeping back in their own bed as soon as possible.

How to deal with the situation, what to do.

First off accept, this situation won’t resolve itself in a day. It will take time to break and embed a new routine. If your child is a toddler you can try gently explaining and coaxing them back into their own beds by lying next to them and reading them a story. Wait until they become tired and then give them a cuddle and when they fall asleep, leave them there and go back to your own bed. This is ideal if they also are sleeping in their own room too.

How to get your child to sleep in their own bed, and out of yours.

If your little one is younger, under 1 year old, you can try to let them sleep with you after their last feed, wait until they fall asleep and then gently lift them up and put them in their own bed. Be aware that if they are a baby, them sleeping in your bed with you is not the safest option either as it can increase the risk of cot death. A safe sleeping baby is a baby that’s sleeping in their own bed or cot on their back.

But I digress. Another thing to remember here is that your the parent, you need to be the ones that set the boundaries, not your child. Be firm in your resolve. Keep trying to get your child used to at least waking up in their own bed and eventually they will become far easier to put down in their on own bed.

Also, when you do put your little one in their own bed again, the chances are they will wake up in the night at some point and realise your not there. When this happens and they are crying or come into your room. Be gentle and reassuring. Take them back to their bed and perhaps lay next to them for a while until they fall asleep again. This is easier said than done because at 3am in the morning the temptation is to just let them creep back in with you and all go to sleep. Trust me I’ve been there and done it!

Times to make an exception, but beware.

Of course there will be times to make an exception to this. Now and again, your little one will just have a bad dream or feel sickly and will just need to be close to mum and dad. This is fine as long as it is only here and there. We are talking about routines, and whichever routine your child gets into, is what will dictate if you have a decent nights sleep yourself and also if you want to have any privacy as couple too. The choice is yours, remember your the parent. Set your boundaries, be patient, but be really consistent too. Trust me it will pay off in the long run.

A safe baby is a happy baby

Summary

So to sum up, it’s an easy trap to fall into, but if you allow your baby or toddler to become used to only sleeping with you, it can be really detrimental to your own relationship, as well as their development. Keep to a habit and try to be disciplined. Also, if you can, try not to break the routine, kids this young need boundaries and will follow the patterns and routines they feel comfortable with. I hope this article helped and that you will also take a look at other articles I’ve written.

If you liked this article then please feel free to leave a comment, share or like below. And if you have any questions then please leave them for me and I will get back to you promptly. And I also hope you will consider subscribing to my site. I try to add to new content regularly and value the support.

Many thanks again for visiting,

Kenny.

kenny@myadviceforbaby.com.

 

 

 

 

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24 thoughts on “HOW TO GET YOUR CHILD TO SLEEP IN THEIR OWN BED, AND OUT OF YOURS!”

  1. Julie says:

    Good advice to parents of young children. Thanks so much.

    1. Thanks, I’m glad you liked my site and I hope you will visit again.

  2. Karla Nay says:

    This is a well-written article with sound advice. I also liked the pictures. I enjoyed reading it.

    1. Thanks for the feedback. Much appreciated.

  3. Holly Lee says:

    I’m dealing with this with my 4.5 year old. Any tips for older kids?

    1. Hi, if your kids are older, then you could take a slightly firmer stance, explain gently at first, then slowly get a little tougher, after all the longer you leave it, the harder it becomes. Thanks

  4. Emmanuel Buysse says:

    This is a very good article, we are planning to have babies, so i don’t have experiences about this yet, however, this is exactly what happened to my brother, when they were travelling to France. It costed them lots of time to get the boy out of the bed again, and I mean not days, but weeks.

    If this happens to us, I know now what to do, be sure I will save this page!

    1. Kenneth Glossop says:

      Thanks, I’m glad I could help.

  5. Erick says:

    Even tho I am a 28 years old adults I still have memories off my childhood and why I was doing it. I guess the best explanation is that they want to feel protected and not alone by them self. Also my big brother used to pick me up all the time and sleep with me so maybe that’s why I developed that bad habit, now looking forward I know its gonna be a challenge when its my turn to become a parent but at the same time I will address the situation knowing what their feeling instead of getting piss off I guess.

    1. Kenneth Glossop says:

      Thanks for sharing 

  6. Mina Kim says:

    Good advice. Thanks for sharing.

    I totally agree with you, but in my case and base on my experience. I have two separate opinions on this matter that I would like to share.

    First, I think this is a problem that most parents encounter but overlooked. You are definitely right when you said, the issue should be dealt sooner rather than later. 

    Because if your child get used to it, it would be difficult to convince him/her that, that’s the proper way. And in her/his room he supposed to be sleeping.

    Second, based on my experience, my son who’s 11 now used to sleep with us until he’s six! He just told us one day, that he’ll sleep in his room!

    My point is, training your kid(s) to sleep by themselves is good. But on the long run, your child will decide to be separate from you, specially when he/she started to go to school.

    So why not enjoy the moment?

    1. Kenneth Glossop says:

      Thanks for your comments, they are very valid points.

  7. Brandon says:

    Wow, it appears that if you break from your normal routine it feels good for both you and your toddler and then when you go back to your old ways it feels like you are letting your toddler down. You let your toddler in one day, then you say okay once more, next thing you know it is a new habit. I think not letting it happen from the get go is the best prevention technique no matter the circumstances. So you’re saying if your child’s routine includes sleeping in his or her own bed, it is completely okay to do it now and then but not all the time? Cheers for all this valuable information!

    1. Kenneth Glossop says:

      yes I agree. Its an easy trap to fall into. But hard to get out of! Thanks 

  8. Janani Kumar says:

    Hi Kenny! Great article and good tips on changing habits. I was wondering if you had any tips for how to keep up good habits while on vacation? Usually my nieces and my cousin end up sharing a room and it is really difficult to not fall back into old habits. Any advice? Thanks again!

    1. Kenneth Glossop says:

      Hi and thanks for the great question. I think you need to plan as best you can in advance, if you have to have your child in your bed with you. Make sure you you break the habit as soon as your home. Thanks

  9. Niley says:

    I think the problem is sometimes we the parents, especially if it is your first child, we want to protect them, we want to be close to them all the time, we want to touch them every second to check if they are still breathing and the thought of leaving them alone in another room is a nightmare.  I got so attached to my daughter I never even thought for one minute I would buy a bed for her and let her sleep alone, no way!  My daughter never left, she joined University this year.

    1. Kenneth Glossop says:

      Hi and thanks for sharing a bit about yourself with me. I appreciate the time you took to comment and I agree we always want to be close to our little ones. Although they don’t stay little forever. Thanks Kenny 

  10. Sukumar Thingom says:

    I’m still sleeping with my 6-year old son while my wife sleeps with our one-year old son. I have been mulling over making my elder one sleep in his own bed. It’s as if I didn’t realise he’s no more a baby now. Your post has given me serious thoughts about making my sons sleep independently in their own beds. I’ll be talking to my wife about and tell her some of the things you have said here. I can understand when you say it’s detrimental to our relationship when our baby or toddler sleeps with us. I have never thought too much about it. And yes, you also talked about the need for privacy. I can totally relate there. Thanks for a wonderfully-written post.

    1. Kenneth Glossop says:

      Hi and thanks for getting back to me. I believe that it is in the whole family’s interest to get your kids sleeping in their own bed as soon as you can. It’s better for your privacy and their development. Thanks Kenny 

  11. tim says:

    Wow, your article took me down memory lane to when my son (who is in his 20’s now) was a baby.  You hit the nail on the head that its easy to get them into the habit of sleeping in your bed…I found it was a convenient but lazy way to be able to go back to bed when you could just bring him in with you rather than rocking a fussy or gassy baby back to sleep.  Thankfully we rarely did it and never had a serous retraining problem.  Great post and some really super advice.  Thanks for the memories!

    1. Kenneth Glossop says:

      Tganks and I’m glad you shared your own life experiences with me in this post. Thank you. I am also glad that you found what wrote heee to be of use to others. Kenny 

  12. Anusuya says:

    Hi Kenny,

    I liked your blog about how to make kids sleep independently. In my country, kids sleep with mother until they move off themselves. I am not sure how it is now in my country after 4 decades moving out from home. 

    So is it because of the risk death accidents the kid has to sleep in his room? I am just curious.

    Thank you for sharing such a helping article.

    Anusuya

    1. Kenneth Glossop says:

      Hi and thanks for the great response to my article, I really appreciate you leaving me your thoughts on this matter, and I hope you will visit my site again in the future, thanks, Kenny 

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